Let's beat hippies with truncheons

Some band should do a remake of The Song Remains the Same. Led Zeppelin did something with that movie that no one has ever tried again. For good reason.

Let's allow the band to do wanky fantasy sequences over interminable '70s guitar or electric piano or drum solos; the lead singer banging away on a tamborine. Robert Plant; we get it.You like Lord of the Rings. As if Misty Mountain Hop wasn't a big enough clue. Jimmy Page; we get it. You luuurve Satan. Peter Grant; what a character!

I love the bit in the guitar solo in Dazed and Confused where Jones and Bonham just look at each other as if to say "Where's he going now?" "I don't know. Just go with it."

"No comment is more incriminating than a comment." "Is it?" "Yeah." "No comment."

But I just think of Mr Dark using my pink paisley Telecaster to play Stairway to Heaven at a school mass.


I'm not sure if I was in that band, but I remember playing Tom Apelt's 12-string acoustic. I went out and bought my own soon after.

"Does anybody remember laughter?"

Wow! So now we're at the drum solo where Bonham plays them with his hands. Classic!

Carpentry with a fag hanging out of his mouth. Racing hotrods and dragsters. Fantastic.

Now Jimmy Page brings out the theremin.

And then they hop into their limos, drive to their private plane and fly away...

[END]